Tentative Roots

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Brown welcome mat with an image of a ferret as part of the word Welcome, followed by the words, hope you like ferrets.

We’re mostly unpacked, but there are still some “where’s the such-and-such?” moments.  It’s feeling like a home now. I’m still trying to figure out where my 5 TB external hard drive is because Cass wants to give me a bunch of file copies and about 10,000 pictures of Magnus. That sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s an actual estimate. Kevin and I already have over 5000 of our own (I mean, the kid is rivaling the ferrets at this point). All part of being Nana and Umpa.

The entire main level is being designed to be toddler-proof. Since we already aim for ferret-proof, we were most of the way there with our strategies.  We’re hoping it’s a place people can just come to visit and relax. Grab some tea, read, do art, play games, or hang out on the patio.  I once had a place where people would come for a moment of peace, sometimes to hide, to heal, to create, and to move forward.  Not sure we’ll recreate that exactly; it was a magical place, and a very different time.

We miss our friends, many who scattered across the continent (and beyond) post-covid. Many of us have been rootless for a long while (even pre-covid). Sooj’s song “Rootless” has gained new meaning for the community.

However, this place has captured the imagination, whispering possibilities, and I’m feeling points of connection here — to the land and the people.  Maybe, just maybe…. At the very least, maybe Kevin and I can provide a central location for visiting, and we’ll see what becomes of it.

Click here to listen to Rootless by SJ Tucker.

 

The Good Old Days Include Now

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Listening to “Good Old Days” by Macklemore and Kesha, the song presents a commonly-experienced story of spending our youth dreaming of the future. We spend it waiting to somehow “arrive” or “become,” only to look back later to realize that those were the “good old days.”  It inspires nostalgia, and often regret.

However, often overlooked is this part of the song:

 

Never thought we’d get old, maybe we’re still youngMaybe you always look back and think it was better than it wasMaybe these are the momentsMaybe I’ve been missin’ what it’s aboutBeen scared of the future, thinkin’ about the pastWhile missin’ out on now

 

In missing days gone by, we need to be careful not to miss out on the now. The lesson continues.

So often the now feels like not yet, or the now is full of things that are hard. How can the hard be part of the good?  I suppose it is up to each person to define that for themselves. “It’s funny now,” Cass or I will often say when talking about events of the past, remembering dangers laced with absurdity.  We look back, laugh, acknowledge the hard, the lessons learned, and appreciate the now, even as we navigate the current challenges.

Exactly by Amy Steinberg

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This instantly became one of my favorite songs.  I love the message – and when you read the lyrics, you’ll understand why.  However, it is the delivery that has me in awe. I tried to follow along, and had a great time trying (and failing).  See if you can do any better.

 

Lyrics:

i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am a blessing manifest and
i can undress the moment
naked time unwinds beneath my mind
and from within i find the kind of beauty
only i can find

i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am surrendering so willingly
to be the perfect me inside this now
and truly how else could it be
destiny she blesses me
destiny she blesses me

and when i try to fight or run
i only wind up back at square one
and when i think i know what’s best for me
fate she takes me back
to exactly where i need to be

i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am divinely timed and shining brightly
yes i believe that there’s a purpose just for me
yes i believe that we are light

and we shine infinitely – whoa -oh -oh

i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am not aimlessly existing see
i am in perfect harmony with universal energy
and i am truly free when i accept my own divinity

look at me look at me closely
tell me exactly what you see
if you are paying attention you will now begin ascension of the mind
why, because if you look at me just right you can see a kiss
for it took a kiss to make this breath exist
the intersection of my mother’s and father’s lips
to touch twist  perfect what came next to produce me
as look at me and you will see the breeze

the breeze it took to shake the leaves to make
my mother’s hair move, my father dare touch it and say
please may i have a kiss
yes the breeze made me exist

and if you want to get even deeper into this
right now you will look at me you will see a big ol’ cloud – that’s right
the cloud it took to form the storm to make the breeze to shake the leaves to
inspire the lip-lock, yes a raindrop will pop up out these words
you heard me right
if you look at me close enough you will see a dark stormy night

and what is night?

well night ain’t night without its polar opposite of sunlight
so if you watch the way my hands splay
you’ll see the light of day
and everyday is a testament to the sediment of the earth’s core
its ever spinning enormous force so if you look at me just right
you will see a spark, of the source
but the most fascinating thing about this, and it’s true
is that if you look at me just right, you see you

it’s only what you perceive how you believe the space between
you and me
that creates reality
so when i sing you can feel it
when i cry you can heal it
when i speak words you can be the words i speak by singing with me

peace love free [8 times]

when i try to fight or run
i only wind up back at square one
and when i think i know what is best for me
fate she takes me back
to exactly where i need to be

and when i am alone and full of fear
i just remember the rising sun always appears
and everyday miracles, miracles that i see
well you take me back
ya take me back,
ya take me back,
ya take me back,
to exactly where i need to be

i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am a blessing manifest