My friend recently reminded me of this moment (circa 2018), and I love revisiting this video. Helen came up to me, asking to get into the shower. She was covered in styrofoam and wanted to wash off. This video is me figuring out, in real time, exactly how that happened.
Lesson learned! Don’t start to open a box with packing material in it and then walk away for even a moment. Helen had dug a tunnel through the foam in the box. Luckily she didn’t ingest any of it!
On their way out the door to visit the Federal Building, Aunt Faye stopped to show Grandma Cela the memorial she set up for their late mother. As Faye waved her hand toward the pictures and momentoes on the mantle, a loud boom sounded, and the house shook.
Faye paused, slowly lowering her hand. “Do ya suppose Ma doesn’t like it?”
I can’t remember how they found out that the building they were going to visit was bombed. It was only minutes away, so whether or not Ma liked the memorial, taking that time to admire it might have saved them from joining her. Also, thanks to my grandma visiting Oklahoma, my cousin who worked at the building took the day off. Little decisions and delays. Big consequences.
I do remember the phone lines were jammed. I kept calling while Grandpa fretted, desperate to hear Grandma’s voice. When I finally got through, Grandma didn’t say hello. She answered the phone with, “We’re all okay!” I wonder how many callers got through before us. She was being efficient, getting straight to it and clearing the line for the next call.
More than anything though, I remember the dogs. That was the strongest impression my grandma came back with, and it became a guiding metaphor for life.
Rescue dogs were brought in to search for bodies. Unfortunately, there were many to find because the bomber intentionally waited until after everyone would have arrived for the day, including the children in the on-site daycare. The dogs would find one victim after another, but not alive. Now, imagine the reactions of the humans involved in the rescue efforts. Each time a body was found, especially that of a child, what did the humans feel? How did they express that feeling?
After awhile, the dogs stopped. They couldn’t continue. They were discouraged each time they found a body, and their posture suggested depression, shame, exhaustion.
Realizing what was happening, the humans started taking turns hiding under some rubble so the dogs could “find” them. When the dogs discovered the living humans, people cheered, and they praised the dogs for doing a good job. With the boost of finding somebody alive often enough, of having happy successes, plus humans remembering to express gratitude even when finding the dead, the dogs were able to persevere in their important work.
What can we learn from this?
One obvious thing is that feelings – including empathy – are experienced by human and non-human animals alike.
The other is that we can find ourselves grinding to a stop when we only hear or experience the negative. It’s worse when it’s the same horror repeated over and over again. In order to sustain, we need to express and receive gratitude. We need to celebrate the wins. We need to pace ourselves, and take breaks. Play music, take a walk, hydrate. Self-care in its many forms is vital for us to persevere in doing our important work.
This applies to all aspects of life. Parenting. Supervising teams. Curating and sharing information (hello social media overwhelm). Finding the right balance is a personal thing, but hopefully taking a moment to ponder the above story can create awareness, which is the first step.
April 18, 2025. How about a non-blurry photo of an awake Lily for today’s ferret fix? Except when she’s receiving scritches, Lily has two speeds: sleeping and zooming. Sometimes I can get her to pause mid-zoom long enough to get a picture. For every picture like this, there are about 50 or so blurry ones. 
After trimming Elsa’s nails at the vet, I put her in the carrier hammock and said, without thinking, “Stay there a moment.” And she did. She stayed like that, blinking up at me, waiting for me to say “Okay” to signal she could get up now. Realizing what just happened, I first took a picture and then gave her the okay. Elsa was not a very ferret-like ferret in so many ways. This picture is likely from 2016 or 2017.
July 1, 2021 in NH, taking Patrick to the park
K and I have been trying to navigate away from most social media for a couple of years now, and we’re taking more steps that direction. Let’s see how well this approach works:
1) Regular “ferret fix” posts here for those who tell me they go directly to my social media pages for that reason alone.
2) Some public posts/updates here as time and energy allow
3) Efforts to connect directly with people
Notice there are already a few ferret posts up to get us started. I’ll continue to add new ones, plus pull from my albums of the past. You can click on Journal and go directly to the Ferret Fix category.
Almost a year later, we still have a lot of stuff in storage, but we’re no longer completely surrounded by moving boxes. Our rental is just minutes from K’s parents, and a reasonable drive to see kids and grandbaby.
It has been too long since I have seen my youngest though, so we’re looking at timing a visit to the PNW in the near future. There’s a wedding and a funeral to plan around.
We have also planned and booked a long-talked about trip to Scotland! It was a challenge to research the lines of grandmothers, and now I will get to visit the places where they were born and lived. We will also visit locations for K’s ancestry. Expect future updates for this!
K is on the board of directors for a MakerSpace, and has been busy helping them with updates to their systems as well as working in the space itself. He’s also updating his gear with the intent to capture people’s stories – the things they would like future generations to know. He did this with his grandma before she passed away, and also with a dear friend before his passing. It would be meaningful work.
My work in education – in various forms – continues to keep me busy. It’s how I can best contribute positively in this world. Time and energy are finite, so I’m learning to choose wisely how I spend mine.
I have made some effort to provide my direct contact information, and have requested it of others. For personal connections where we didn’t manage to exchange this information, LinkedIn is an option to remedy this. Although I don’t use it much, I will probably maintain LinkedIn for the foreseeable future, and I check messages there several times per year.